Struggling with myself…

When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. ~ Deepak Chopra

Meditation: When we are living very closely with someone, we get to know all her faults, all his”warts”, all her habits. Some we like, some drive us crazy. Those attributes we especially dislike in our partners might be an invitation for us to look at.

Why am I so judgmental about his/her particular behavior? Does she have a freedom I wish I had? Does he have a way I dislike because I can’t allow myself to be that way? Our families of origin, our cultures, our fixed values can box us in. We have preconceived notions of seeing and projecting on our partner. We begin to struggle within the relationship.

What if I became curious: “How does he see himself? Why is she acting the way she does? What values does she hold? What values does he hold? How do we complement each other?

When we move out of our perceived boxes of “right and wrong”, “strength and weakness” thinking, we might discover that our partner’s way of living is an invitation for us to broaden our horizon, to heal from our past, to open us up to new possibilities of seeing and living.

Prayer: God of opposites, you often bring partners together so that they would learn about You as the “holder of everything”, “the holder of opposites”. Free us from judgment and help us learn from each other. Amen

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good. Romans 8:28