Letting Go…

Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress. Melody Beattie

Meditation: I am challenged every day as the parent of teenagers. What am I responsible for and what not? What is mine and what is theirs? While my husband has the gift of easily letting go and letting them make mistakes, and in doing so learn to claim responsibility for themselves, I often feel uptight and overly responsible for my daughters’ actions. Where does this come from? Some of us have grown up within family systems where members were either depressed, stressed, anxious or have been addicted to a substance or to work. We learned to cope by feeling overly responsible. Responsible for parents, siblings, household and the family image to the outside world. We over-functioned without being aware.  We consequently learned to “be in the world” feeling responsible for everybody and for everything. For us who learned to cope this way, it is important to remember that all persons have the right to be responsible for themselves. We need to take our hands off from what is not ours. We need to give back what we falsely took on. We need to allow others to make mistakes, learn from them and become responsible for themselves. I am allowed to feel and enjoy the relief that comes from no longer over-functioning.

Prayer: God, even You share the responsibility for this world with us. You have given us free will. You allow us to mess up, while always calling us to greater and deeper responsibility for ourselves. We are allowed to draw boundaries and set limits. We are free to let go and give back what is not ours. We, too, need to call others to greater and deeper responsibility for themselves, instead of compensating for their irresponsibility. God, free us from co-dependence and from over-functioning. Help us to “let go and let, You, God” call all of us to greater responsibility for ourselves. Amen

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Galatians 6:4-5

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