Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. Brene Brown
Meditation: Yesterday I spoke sternly, I even yelled a few words. I was upset. I was angry. As mother that is what you do when a teenager lies to you, don’t you? I lectured, I demanded changed behavior, I proclaimed “You did not pass the test”… And then I stepped away. I did not like that she lied. Yet I also did not like the way I came across. It did not feel constructive and only raised the resistance on her side. And when I calmed down and went deeper, I realized that underneath my anger was worry and fear. I had been afraid something could have happened to her. I felt vulnerable as a Mom who wants to protect her children. And so I went back to her. We were disconnected after what happened. She was shut down, just as her door was locked. I started with: “Can I, please, talk to you?” I shared that I had been worried and afraid as her Mom who wants to protect her. She shared why she had lied, as she felt I would not have given her the freedom and space she needed. We saw things from each other’s perspective. It felt vulnerable, yet connecting and constructive. We talked about how to handle a similar situation better in the future. And then we ate together, as the whole ordeal had made both of us hungry.
Prayer: God of vulnerability, help us as parents and help our teens to find back to connection in those places of vulnerability. Help us both admit openly our basic feelings of fear, anger and worry as we walk together through those difficult teenage years. Help us to admit that we love each other, even though our tone, behavior and words seem to contradict this truth all too often. Help us parents to make the first step in showing our vulnerability, as teenage life is nothing but… Amen
Then Peter (a Mom) came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother (my daughter) sin against me, and I forgive him (her)? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22