Separation and Divorce…

Relationships are eternal. The ‘separation’ is another chapter in the relationship. Often, letting go of the old form of the relationship becomes a lesson in pure love much deeper than any would have learned had the couple stayed together. Marianne Williamson

Meditation: What do we say about divorce? The bible clearly states that divorce “displeases God”. I agree that the covenant of marriage needs special protection and special respect. This is why the Catholic church made it into a sacrament. At the same time, separation of a marriage could become an expression of love when both sides agree to it. When the old form of a relationship has become unbearable and a new form of relationship that is life giving cannot be found together, the most loving thing might be to allow for a separation. Sometimes this allows for a freedom and a love that could not have been found within the marriage relationship. Children at times benefit from their parents separating. When the old form of the relationship caused suffering and pain for the whole family system involved, having a new form that honors separate journeys might help the individual family relationships remain loving instead of becoming toxic. I am not saying that divorce is a positive thing or that it is the answer to all marriage issues. I hope that couples will seek counseling and will discern over a long period (together and alone) what new forms of relationship are best when the old forms are no longer life giving. Hopefully new roles, new behaviors, better forms of communication and new beginnings can be found within the marriage covenant. However, separation and divorce might also be an option that could be the most loving thing to do.

Prayer: God, when our marriages are no longer life giving, help us discern new forms. Revive what is sick. Resurrect what has died. Help forgive where injury happened. Reconcile what has been estranged. Help couples who are suffering discern whether to stay together or to separate. God, we sin when we are married. And we sin when we divorce. Most of all, fill our hearts with love, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Amen

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1. Peter 4:8 (NIV)