Independent, Yet Nurtured…

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Meditation: I remember that as a child I liked to be independent. Even at the age of two I would say “Ich kann das selber” (I can do this myself!). As a teenager I liked to hang out at a friend’s house instead of being at home. Reflecting on my independence need growing up, I became aware that after I left home at 19,  I would sometimes choose to stay away from home for too long, as I often was not aware or did not admit when I needed to be nurtured or cared for. Interestingly as a mother of twins I turned out to especially cherish those time when my girls would “lean on me” literally and figuratively, as I love to care for them. Gratefully, as they grew they both like to assert their independence as well. And at the same time they are able to ask for a hug or for support when they need it. I am glad that my “lop sided story” of seeking independence is thus far not being repeated in my daughters’ story. Independence does not mean avoiding nurturing. And becoming self-sufficient does not mean never leaning on a mother’s shoulder. It means that a daughter is free to be independent and self-sufficient while being free to also ask for support if she needs it.

Prayer: Mother God, thank you that my daughters are finding the balance between independence and allowing to be nurtured better than I did. Thank You that You want us to become independent and free, especially as females. And thank You also that there is no shame in needing to lean and be nurtured at times. We rejoice in this balance of independence while remaining connected, of self-sufficiency while also allowing to be nurtured. This balance is one of the mysteries of Your Love that I am learning more about every day. Amen

The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27a