“Being new” is not what I thought…

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. Eleanor Roosevelt

Meditation: When I was 18, I spent a summer in England. In a small charismatic church community I dedicated my life to God. The idea that I would be a “totally new person” after that experience was a very real expectation of mine. However, I did not change. My teenage struggles did not disappear. First I was angry that God did not just take all my problems away. But later I could see that “being new” did not mean that I could leave myself behind. Instead of “reinventing” myself and “becoming new” as in suddenly being or acting differently, this commitment to God more so changed how I perceived myself and how I saw the world. “Being a new creation” meant that this relationship with God that I consciously agreed to would gradually change me over time. I discovered that “being new” would be a process of decades. And it meant to gradually become aware of myself and others with more patience and with deeper empathy and compassion. I realized that rather than being a “new person”, I am receiving new strength and new thoughts each and every day. And thus I am being renewed every day as I walk with God.

Prayer: God, when I wished I was different, you helped me to embrace myself as I was. When I was hoping to have all my problems solved, you walked with me deeper into them, so I could understand myself better. When I wished myself away, you affirmed my value. The “new” reality is not a changed me. The “new” in my life is my relationship with you and your presence, your love, your compassion and your acceptance of me. And over time, this relationship is changing me. Thank you for your long breathe and for your patience. Amen

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2. Corinthians 5:17

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