James 4:8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Meditation: Sometimes we cannot help but be “double minded”. We feel trust and doubt at the same time. We love God, and yet wonder at times if he loves us. I think this is our human existence. This is how we are. And God knows that.
I cannot even purify my heart by myself. I can wash my hands, but even that ritual does not provide the relief I am longing for.
Why does God allow those times of doubt, wonder, fear and estrangement from God, from ourselves and from others?
I think that our crying out to God becomes even more real. Our prayers become even more human. And our human needs and vulnerabilities are being carefully held and embraced by God, when we are ready to be held and embraced.
Prayer: Loving God, you allow those confused, troubled and strange times where we feel so far from you, and you seem so far from us and our experience. You wait for us. You wait until we are ready to say: “Come, oh God. Hold me, embrace me” and as the thief on the cross said: “take me with you.” Amen
Quote: “Jesus himself did not try to convert the two thieves on the cross; he waited until one of them turned to him.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer